I was so nervous to take a pregnancy test. But when I tested positive I was so happy. But then I got paranoid. I would not let my husband near me without a condom. What is he was actually HIV positive and he infects me and my baby? I shared my worries with my aunt and my sister. They thought I was being silly. They said – really he is the father, stop being dramatic!
But I could not. All I could think about was protecting my baby – and myself. Then I went to antenatal classes and we were told we had to test for HIV in pregnancy.
I was so scared. I took the test but I refused to hear the results. The sister was so kind and she was trying to calm me down and persuade me. But I was petrified. I thought if I was positive I would just want to die right there. I didn’t want to know.
Eventually the clinic called my partner to come. They didn’t know what else to do. He said… are you crazy! I’m at work. I got furious and I told him, ‘fine. Then I am going home and I am not going to get my results.’
So he came.
They gave us the results and they were negative.
All the drama for nothing. I felt like such a fool. But my mom told me its hormones making me crazy. Whatever. I do know that I am not having unprotected sex until I have given birth. And I am not sure I will ever again. I am not going through all that again.
Hormones or not.
Getting a positive result is a huge shock. Luckily this MAMA was negative. If you do test positive - take your time and get used to your result. Your clinic will give you free ARVs to keep both you and your baby safe. They will help an HIV+ mom have a negative baby.