Post-baby sex

Your wife has been off sex for months while she was heavily pregnant, now the baby is here and you're expecting things to go back to how they were... Right? Wrong! A month goes past, then another! Don't take it personally - it's not easy for her to switch from mom to lover.

Want the intimacy back in your relationship? Here is some advice from those who have been there:

Why does my wife not want to have sex with me, surely she is over the birth by now?

  • She feels unattractive and self-concious of her post-birth body
  • She had a difficult birth and she still feels sore or uncomfortable
  • She's so focused on being a mom she forgets about herself
  • She sees her body as providing for, and belonging to, her baby, not her husband
  • She worries the baby will wake up in the middle of things
  • She feels exhausted and unappreciated (if she has to do all the housework by herself) and 'not in the mood'

How do I get my sex life back?

  • Talk to her! Find out what she is thinking and show her that you care about her feelings
  • Tell her you love her and compliment how she looks to build up her self-esteem
  • Bring back the romance! Do little things to make her feel loved and special
  • Tell her you know how hard she works and you appreciate all she does looking after the baby
  • Help her with the housework so she has more time for you, it will be a big turn on!
  • Give her the evening off to relax and have a nice bath and glass of wine to 'put her in the mood'
  • Get a babysitter! Take her out for a meal or a treat so you can spend some time alone together
  • Buy her some sexy lingerie to help her feel attractive
  • DON'T put any pressure on her! Be patient and understanding, but explain your needs gently

Remind each other that you are a couple - you're not just parents. Keep telling her how much you love and appreciate her and you’ll get there in the end. A solid relationship will make a happy family. What tips can you give us on how to enjoy your sex life again?




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